I may not be in the closet anymore…(I came out online May 19th), but last night was such a train wreck, that I had to tell someone.

The night started off with a few glasses of wine at home before I headed out. My friend picked up a few of my shirts and accessories b/c she is going as me to a party this weekend. I head out and go to a party at Ambassador which my friend is throwing for her company’s launch. I get a few drink tickets from her and start to mingle.

I see and hang out with a bunch of friends, then a girl friend wants to see what’s upstairs. We start to head up that way and it seems like the security guard is checking for some wristband, which we don’t have. We somehow manage to work our way past him and upstairs. This guy comes up to me and is like, hey aren’t you Nick Starr…we are friends on Facebook (I have reached the 5,000 friend cap on Facebook, and am not sure how I know 1/2 of those people).

We start to talking and flirting a bit. I buy us a few drinks with my drink tickets (clue 1) and we wonder around and talk for quite some time. We talk with some of my friends downstairs and some people he knows upstairs. Little did I know at the time, but they were 2 separate parties and that I probably shouldn’t of been upstairs.

We wind up leaving the party while holding hands and go to his friend’s studio a block away. We are all hungry so head to Jack In The Box for some food. It is around $10 and I pay (note this is the second sign that tonight is headed downhill, but I don’t know that this is a warning sign….yet). We go back and eat, some girls come over and everyone is talking. I fell asleep on the couch. I’m awaken around 1:30-2ish and he’s like let’s go back to my place. He was sort of insistent, and I was like, “I live closer” he said let’s just go to my place…okay I have no problem with that.

He then tells me he lives behind Stonestown mall. Little did I know this is over a 8 mile cab ride back. I sort of remember him saying he would split it, which was good b/c all I had was $15 left on me. We get in the cab and the cabbie takes us a much longer route (about 10 miles in total), and the fare reaches $18. I ask the guy for his money b/c we are over what I have. He scrounges around and only can find $2 in coins…WTF? (clue 3)

I ask the cabbie to take us to an ATM and the guy and the cabbie get into a verbal fight over who knows what. The cabbie asks us to leave and just to give him $10. Now we are Ocean Avenue (aka I have no idea where this is) and walking trying to find a new cab. There are none to be found. We find an ATM and I’m like, hey go get out $20 for a cab if we find one. He tell me he might have $10, but not $20 and most ATM’s don’t give out anything in denominations of $10 (clue 4 at this point that this is going to be a bad night).

I go to the ATM and pull out some money and am charged a ridiculous fee by the ATM & my bank. We keep walking, and I’m in nice shoes which are NOT meant for long distance walking. We walk (according to Google Maps this morning) the 2.1 remaining miles to his place, as we never saw another cab. It is now cold, past 2am, and I’m tired. We are walking towards the place and he tells me that his grandfather lives there (clue #, well let’s just fucking say that the rest of the story is one giant clue), but is in the far bedroom…oh goodie. He then is like, I guess you will want to sleep in my bedroom….um yeah that is why I came all this fucking way. I don’t quite understand at this point why he said that…

I found out once we got there that he just moved there 5 days ago and the room he is “staying” in has NO BED!!! So there I am…lying on the carpet floor while he is in the bathroom. I’m so pissed at this point, but apparently was still drunk and horny. (Here is the dirty details you can tune out at this point if you don’t want to know what we did in bed). He starts to rim me which is personally one of my favorite things. I asked when we go into the bedless bedroom if he had condoms and lube and he said he did. I wouldn’t of allowed him to start anything unless he had condoms and lube.

Well turns out he doesn’t have lube, just some lotion he found….fucking great. Now I was involved in a small orgy a few weeks ago where there was no lube, and we used lotion…it was okay, but not ideal. We proceed to go about all pre-sex items and I am really horny at this point. He gets the lotion and we start fucking. Now for all this trouble and frustration I’ve gone thru at this point….it is all gone from my mind with how good the sex was. We fall asleep and wake up the next morning (today) at 7ish and go at it once more.

He takes me all the way to work on the M line (thank god for Muni passes) and we part ways just outside where I work. He texts me a little bit later asking how I’m doing and making sure I’m not pissed.

Let’s just say I have a few extra questions to ask a person (like do you have a fucking bed) besides their STD/AIDS status before agreeing to go home with them from now on.